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me before you

Category: Personal, The Best You

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we went to go see ‘me before you’ tonight and it got me pondering life. i was actually way more upset at the ending than i thought i’d be, which is making me realize how i’ve become more defined as a person.

i definitely support dying with dignity if that is what the person believes is the best fit for them. there are plenty of cases out there that justify its’ existence. and as a nurse, we are taught that we must respect and support our patient’s decisions regardless of what our beliefs are.

for me personally, i’ve come to believe that as long as we are still alive on this earth, God has a purpose us. i really think God takes those who are ready and waits on all the rest of us as we mature and prepare ourselves for the afterlife. i’m curious to find out what it’s like on the other side, but i’m even more excited to see how the rest of life unfolds. i’ve been reminded of how lucky we are to be alive and to have the life we have. God does bless, and he does it so many different ways.

 

simply beYOUtiful,

atl

 

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long before i was born

Category: Personal

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i woke up naturally early this morning anticipating Hoan’s arrival into town. i’ve been having a hard time getting up lately and i’m unsure whether its because of residual jet lag from my trips or what, but i stayed up this morning instead of going back to sleep to catch some precious z’s.

i stumbled across this video of a couple who felt compelled to name their child Chloe, even before they were even together. they struggled through years of infertility and ended up deciding to adopt. when they went to go visit the birth mom, to their surprise she had been calling the baby Chloe. like :O

tears started forming in the corners of my eyes as i was watching this story unfold. i was lying in my bed, in absolute awe of God’s beautiful work and began to reflect on my own personal life.

I thought wow… Hoan is exactly the man i dreamt of marrying… here i am living in California, which is something i had thought about for years, and pursuing my master’s in nursing education is a decision i made years ago when i was only a freshman in college!

and then it dawned on me, God has been writing my story… long before i was born, just as He has yours.

here’s the link to the video: God is Good (thanks to Katie Raddatz for sharing)

 

simplybeYOUtiful,

atl

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missing home

Category: Personal

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holidays are never easy when we’re away from our family. this morning i felt a twinge of guilt that i couldn’t be home for father’s day. my dad is going to be 73 this year and even though our family doesn’t do much for the holidays, it would have been nice to spend some time with them.

i shudder thinking back to all the holidays i spent at home, doing nothing but wishing i was apart of another family who actually celebrated the holidays… oh how the times have changed.

sigh…

if you’re near your pop this father’s day, give him a nice sweet kiss, or even two.

 

simply beYOUtiful,

atl

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healing

Category: Authenticity, Self Compassion, Self Acceptance, The Best You

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i feel like the moment i was able to admit to my faults, is also the moment i began to heal.

since moving to LA, my me-me (youngest born) mentality has become much more apparent. it’s been quite challenging for me to put myself in other people’s shoes, to feel empathy and compassion.

after a lot of reflection, i realized it’s because my needs as a human being weren’t being met to the standard of what i’m used to-our need for love, belonging and connection- and unfortunately, it led me to a place where i couldn’t give fully or unconditionally.

i’m unsure of how long i went on without noticing or admitting to it but i finally came clean to myself this weekend. the process was heartbreaking and shameful to say the least but as my boyfriend says, our biggest breakdowns often lead to our biggest breakthroughs.

 

simply beYOUtiful,

Anh Thu

 

 

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inadequate

Category: Self Compassion

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i have no idea what’s gotten into me… the last few days have been consumed with feelings of guilt, unworthiness, and shame. it really hit home last night when i fully admitted that i hadn’t been the best girlfriend. while i have become better in certain areas like giving him space to do work, getting him to bed on time… that’s it and i’m ashamed to say that.

i know this too has happened in my friendships. i feel like i could have been so much more supportive during times like these but for some reason, i haven’t been able to and i’m not sure why.

for the first time in a while, i feel inadequate. i can’t seem to get over my shortcomings and mistakes. i know i have a tendency to be hard on myself but maybe it’s come full throttle because i’ve been so lax about everything else in my life. sigh…

i’m finding it really hard to have self compassion right now but Lord God, please show me your love so that I can love myself the way you have always loved me.

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the beginning of something beyoutiful

Category: Authenticity, Self Compassion, Self Acceptance, The Best You, Spread the Movement

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Something I’ve struggled with for years is to simply be me. What I mean by this is discovering who I am, embracing my imperfect self, having the courage to follow my heart and forgiving my faults to move forward so that I can become the best version of myself. I always felt like something was missing though; as if the effort I was putting into becoming this (almost) perfect person wasn’t enough.

My boyfriend Hoan told me about a time when he was at a conference and the speaker asked a room full of women, “Who in here truly believes they are drop dead gorgeous?” Guess how many ladies raised their hand? One. ONE. I was appalled but the other side of me understood why because I know I would have been among the women who kept their hands to themselves. In that moment– my heart broke.

When I first met Hoan, I noticed he was always telling me how beautiful I am. It caught me off guard every time because apart of me was too afraid to believe it, like I wasn’t worthy of such compliments. Each time I would blush and mumble a heartfelt thank you… almost under my breath because I was so flattered yet in such shock and disbelief that someone believed I was beautiful.

One night without fail my boyfriend said, “Anh Thu, you are absolutely beautiful.” Again, I would respond blushing and say, “…Thank you.” This time though, I explained that apart of me was too afraid to see myself this way because I wouldn’t be able to keep up the “beautiful” standard. He continued to explain and said it was my heart that makes me beautiful but it doesn’t become whole until I realize it myself. After going back and forth he wanted to hear me say, “I am beautiful,” and feel the confidence and belief in my voice. So I said it a couple times but on the last occasion, I heard myself say it and thought he’s right, You are beautiful Anh Thu. –It was in this moment that I realized beauty is not about good looks or having a good heart, it’s truly about embracing and being confident in the imperfect, beYOUitful person that you are.

Hoan is confident I am beautiful and sometimes we just need one person to believe in us, for us to believe it ourselves. I thought back to the room full of women and realized, the next time someone asks a room full of women whether or not they think they’re beautiful, my dream is to see every hand in that room begin to rise with confidence and conviction. Therefore, I hope I can be that one person who believes in you because let’s face it… you are simply beYOUtiful.

Simply beYOUtiful,

Anh Thu

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finding my inner beauty again

Category: Authenticity, The Best You

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being beautiful isn’t about good looks or what you wear but it’s about being true to who you are and embracing every bit of that.

i feel like i’ve lost myself in the midst of transitioning to life here in california. i no longer know what i’m passionate about, what my purpose is or what even motivates me and that’s scary… so i’m on a mission to answer these simple yet essential questions and feel beyoutiful again.