Hoan and I will be getting married in less than 7 months! It’s kinda crazy to think that it’s coming up so soon. We recently finished our catholic engaged encounter which essentially is a pre-marriage retreat for engaged couples that is a weekend long. This actually wasn’t our first time taking a class like this since we had taken another pre-marriage class from Cottonwood church, and that was every week for five weeks. I think a lot of the topics they covered were very similar to one another but after experiencing both I wanted to round up 10 take-aways we took from our pre-marriage classes for all of you since V-day is right around the corner! So here are 5 things I thought all couples who plan on getting married or are married could benefit from:
Do not threaten with the D-word
When you’re in a relationship where there is always an exit sign, you’ll never feel secure. It’s important to realize you’re in this together, forever and if you’re seeing red flags now… that may be a sign to re-evaluate
A covenant is the most powerful promise you can make
A covenant is more than a promise, it’s an eternal agreement you make between your spouse and God. The beauty of being able to declare your love in front of God and your loved ones on your wedding day is just the beginning. Being able to carry out that covenant daily is speaking with love, acting in love and being a model of God’s love.
2 are truly becoming 1
I always believed that it was so important to be a complete whole person before getting into a relationship and allowing the relationship to compliment your life. However, when we look back at how God created woman out of Adam’s ribs, we find that God decided to take ribs from Adam to create a woman so perfectly made for him. If we looked at this in its’ purest form, that would mean that God made this exact person for you, and we’re just fortunate enough to find and recognize each other. However, if we really think about it, if God had made this exact person for you, he would have eventually worked his magic to bring these two beings together
Do things that are life-giving
Constantly ask yourself if what you are saying to your partner or what you are doing for them is life-giving. And what I mean by this is, living a fuller life, the life Jesus taught us to live. To be supportive of one another, generous beyond measure, sensitive to each other’s feelings and essentially to be selfless for our partner
Intimacy is more than just sex
You can easily be intimate and feel close to one another and this could mean being fully present with each other during a heartfelt conversation or just holding hands in public.
Talk about finances before marriage
It’s important to be aware of each other’s net worth, each other’s debt and how you plan to take care of your finances after marriage. Will you only have one joint account to share, or just have separate accounts, or both?
Practice open communication every SINGLE day
It’s important to be open and honest every single day. The most powerful thing we took away was the 5 A’s which is in itself a whole post itself.
Speak with love your partner will understand
This goes back to knowing each other’s 5 love languages and speaking in the way the give and receive love. Because otherwise it may not necessarily be felt.
Race to repentance
Relationships are not easy, and conflicts will arise.. maybe every day even. And it doesn’t have to be big, it could even be a slight disagreement on where to have lunch but both small or large… it’s important to apologize and forgive with our whole hearts. It doesn’t mean you can’t be upset anymore, but it’s about forgiving, truly letting go and not letting it come up later as ammunition.
WEDDING IS A DAY, A MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME
I feel like society has put so much emphasis on the wedding day. Most likely because it marks a true milestone, but the milestone is only the beginning of the chapter, so what about the rest of it? It might start out with a big bang but it’s important to constantly nurture the storyline. As time goes on, relationships change and people change, it’s so easy to get comfortable and think everything will work out in the end but marriage, just like everything else needs to be invested in.
So there you have it, those are the 10 biggest takeaways I took from our marriage classes. I really hope that you invest in a pre-marriage class before marriage. It really helps to open communication and better yet, some states even give marriage application discounts if you give proof you’ve taken one. Happy love month beauties <3