Hoan and I want to thank EVERYONE who shared recommendations on books to read to strengthen a romantic relationship. The first book we decided to delve into is Relationship Agreements the book. We chose this book for a variety of reasons:
- Chapters are a BREEZE – every chapter is several pages so you can quickly read a chapter a day if that’s all the time you have
- The author provides at the end of every chapter homework or exercises you can do. Hoan and I love being able to put words into action so this was perfect. (FYI: the homework assignments are lengthy so we don’t do all of them)
- You can skip around – you don’t have to read in a chronological order. Different chapters have different topics, so if there’s one you feel could be of more benefit, have at it.
The Relationship as Its’ Own Entity
The first chapter talks about how you should consider your relationship as a separate entity. Meaning the relationship is something that you and your partner co-create. The author takes it a step further and actually advises to give your relationship a name. This is because it allows for both parties to invest in something you both have some responsibility over versus investing in the person. For example, when you go out of your way to do something for your partner and they hardly notice, you can’t help but get upset with them. But when you’re doing it for the relationship, there’s more pardon you can place on your partner for not noticing because it wasn’t necessarily for them, it was for the relationship.
The second thing we’ve learned is to have agreements that you both have discussed and both agree upon committing to in the relationship. And of course these agreements can change over time as long as you both discuss and agree on them changing. Hoan and I have made some agreements upon regarding day to day stuff, bedtime and wedding planning. Which you know it honestly felt really good to talk about them and to have both of us aware and on the same page.
But yeah so far so good! If you end up reading it, lmk how it goes and what you guys get out of it!
Live simply, love beyoutifully,